Wise Apples

First of all, why are Wisdom Teeth called wisdom teeth? are people who have them more wise than others? does taking them out take away some of your wisdom? and if so many people have to have them removed then what were there purpose in the first place?!?

These are just some of the questions I've added to my Jesus list

Now why am I so interested in wisdom teeth? because today I got 3 of mine removed (I'd already had the 4th removed a few months ago) and despite popular demand, I only got local anesthetic...which looking back was probably a bad idea. I apparently have a high tolerance for like everything so it took close to an hour of my dentist giving me shots for me to get completely numb...but by the time she finally took out my teeth, boy was I numb! (also, my mother told me this afternoon that my grandfather always has to get laughing gas cause the localized stuff never works on him....great, now she tells me!) I was so numb that I was trying to put on chap-stick as we were leaving the dentist's office and I had to stop and ask Ren to help me because I didn't know where my mouth was.

And for some reason whenever my face is numb I just start talking...about anything and everything. My sister even asked what they gave me cause I was acting a little loopy, which I thought was completely ridiculous....granted I was slapping myself in the face at the time trying to show her just how numb my face was...so I don't know where she got that idea.

8 years ago my dad and I got into a terrible car wreck and he had to have his jaw wired shut and everyone would call to ask us how he was doing...but he'd take the phone from us cause even having his mouth wired shut didn't stop him from talking... well as they say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" I wasn't about to let the 3 gaping holes in my mouth to keep me from talking. My sister finally told me to shut up because we were going into the pharmacy and she said I looked like a chipmunk whenever I spoke....but that didn't stop me for long. As soon as we got to her house she kept asking me if I wanted to lay down or take a nap but I really just wanted to talk....so I started watching Swamp People and Ren said I sounded like Troy and that's finally the straw that sank the boat (that's not the right saying...I just took a pain pill and I think it's starting to kick in...what am I trying to say?) Nevertheless, as of right now I feel great! but I also still can't feel my face....and I have to be careful cause I've been drooling all over myself without even know it. At one point Ren just looked at me and said "you have blood all over your face" so for the rest of the day I've been walking around with a napkin in, on, or under my mouth to help catch any bloody drool that may try to escape... And why is it that whenever you're not supposed to eat, you get SOOO hungry?! I'm about to starve! Mashed potatoes watch out!

Jesus List

So tonight at bible study we were talking about Elijah and the prophets of Baal and somehow that led to Noah's ark (don't ask me how) and all of my college-age kids were trying to figure out what animals were on the ark, which (if any) animals missed the ark, and which animals were considered sea creatures and were left to fend for themselves in the oceans. Here are their thoughts/questions/hypotheses:

• Unicorns were too busy playing and missed the ark, that's why they no longer exist.
• because the unicorns no longer exist, people live shorter lives. (possible Harry Potter reference?)
• Dinosaurs were too big to fit on the ark, thus their extinction.
• were turtles on the ark? some think they were left out to sea
• what age were the animals on the ark? (some think they were babies and that's why all the animals fit, cause they were small)
• Who cleaned up the poop?
• why are there only kangaroos in Australia?
• did unicorns have wings? or were those Pegasus? and did Pegasus have a horn like a unicorn? if not what would you call Pegasus mixed with a unicorn? a Pegacorn or a uniasus? Liger sounds better than a Tigon...so it'd have to be a Pegacorn

My answer to all of these question: Don't worry about it anymore. Just make a list and whenever you get to heaven you can sit and ask Jesus about it....but then they kept asking questions so I said that they probably have an orientation group whenever you get to heaven. You walk in the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing there with a huge smile on his face saying "Welcome to Heaven, where you'll spend eternity with the Alpha and Omega! Here are your welcome packets and name tags, we'll be having several seminars throughout the week so we can go over some of those FAQs that I'm sure you all have. But don't worry you'll all get to see God the father and son soon enough and they'll be happy to answer any and all questions that you might still have. To begin our tour, I'll just have you follow me here down this street of gold..."

I don't know what happened to the dinosaurs, or if unicorns really existed but I do think there is some kind of system in Heaven that automatically answers all of these silly random questions for us...and if not, then I'm just gonna add that to my Jesus List.