Jesus List

So tonight at bible study we were talking about Elijah and the prophets of Baal and somehow that led to Noah's ark (don't ask me how) and all of my college-age kids were trying to figure out what animals were on the ark, which (if any) animals missed the ark, and which animals were considered sea creatures and were left to fend for themselves in the oceans. Here are their thoughts/questions/hypotheses:

• Unicorns were too busy playing and missed the ark, that's why they no longer exist.
• because the unicorns no longer exist, people live shorter lives. (possible Harry Potter reference?)
• Dinosaurs were too big to fit on the ark, thus their extinction.
• were turtles on the ark? some think they were left out to sea
• what age were the animals on the ark? (some think they were babies and that's why all the animals fit, cause they were small)
• Who cleaned up the poop?
• why are there only kangaroos in Australia?
• did unicorns have wings? or were those Pegasus? and did Pegasus have a horn like a unicorn? if not what would you call Pegasus mixed with a unicorn? a Pegacorn or a uniasus? Liger sounds better than a Tigon...so it'd have to be a Pegacorn

My answer to all of these question: Don't worry about it anymore. Just make a list and whenever you get to heaven you can sit and ask Jesus about it....but then they kept asking questions so I said that they probably have an orientation group whenever you get to heaven. You walk in the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing there with a huge smile on his face saying "Welcome to Heaven, where you'll spend eternity with the Alpha and Omega! Here are your welcome packets and name tags, we'll be having several seminars throughout the week so we can go over some of those FAQs that I'm sure you all have. But don't worry you'll all get to see God the father and son soon enough and they'll be happy to answer any and all questions that you might still have. To begin our tour, I'll just have you follow me here down this street of gold..."

I don't know what happened to the dinosaurs, or if unicorns really existed but I do think there is some kind of system in Heaven that automatically answers all of these silly random questions for us...and if not, then I'm just gonna add that to my Jesus List.