How I learned to mind my own business

Fabio Strikes Again!

Fabio had gone missing and I asked Kelly about him the other day and we couldn't find him...SO we created a NEW fabio (same image, just reprinted!) and I hid him on Kelly's pillow before she left to go camping and then taped him to her ceiling after she left...that was on Friday, Kelly found him this morning! And I just got home and who do I find???

Oh where to hide you now?!?!

A Day in the Life of Me

0545- Woke up at. have to be at work between 6:38-6:45

0546- Went back to sleep

0615- Woke up, forgot I was supposed to go to work. went back to sleep.

0625- Woke up. confused, thinking "why is my alarm going off?? Oh crap!"

0645- Clocked in!!

0730- Discovered a new eczema spot behind my left ear...

0731- Convinced myself that I either

a) have leprosy or

b) contracted some sort of rash causing disease

0740- Convince Batman [my nickname for one of the doctors at our hospital] to look at my leprosy and tell me what it is

0745- GOOD NEWS: its just eczema!!! BAD NEWS: it still itches like the dickens!!

0900- The pharmacy finally opens so I can buy cortizone cream

1040- We (me+the nurse I'm orienting) get 4 discharges and 2 admissions all at the same time

1100- It's hot, I feel nauseated

1300- LUNCH

1500- It's 110 degrees outside...so hot that the air feels like its not working. I start to get Nauseated again because it's so hot... I'm now itching everywhere...99% positive I have a heat rash

1900- Night shift!!! Yay!

2000-I found a potato in my kitchen cabinet ...only, I don't remember buying a potato...but unfortunately it remembers when I bought it...feeling nauseated for like the 10th time today

2100- I'm eating pasta, but its too hot and I drop it and somehow it burns my chest...still not sure how that happened

Sally & Romeo

So I went back to work this weekend (which probably wasn't the best idea cause I don't think I was quite ready yet...), anywho, we had these lovely patients this weekend who were straight up confused, disoriented, you name it. Well one of my co-workers got the idea to make them some dolls out of towels to give them something to do...so I grabbed some towels and rubber bands and went to work...and then we started adding onto them and well this is the result:

I think we did pretty well considering that we basically only had office supplies to make these!

Well after we made them I held them up to show our little friends and one of them got so excited! She was absolutely precious! I seriously felt like Santa Claus and I was giving Ralphie the Red Ryder BB gun that he so desperately wanted (catch that movie reference??). I WISH that I could have videoed her getting those dolls!!! (If it wasn't like against the law, then I might have called her family and asked for permission) She was SO stinkin' cute!!!! She would have won America's Funniest Home Videos, like no competition.

Well we had to keep a close eye on our little friends, so they were chillin' with me at the nurses' station while I charted and this little lady started talking about her children and how she "left them in bed." I asked her what her children's names were (to see if she was remembering her actual family or making up something) and she said "Oh I named our boy Romeo, after my husband." ....wrong. So I kinda expected her "daughter's" name to be Juliet, so I asked and she said "oh no, her name is Sally, after me" ....wrong again. I have absolutely no idea where that name came from, but the look she gave me when she said that just about made me pee my pants with laughter. Now, I don't want you to think that I was laughing AT my patient, cause I wouldn't do that. She was TRYING to make me laugh. She even told her family members that she was a comedian (which was even funnier). So I went and got her "babies" out of her room and brought them to her cause she was "so worried about them" and when I gave them to her she threw them on the table next to her. I told her "now are you taking good care of them?" and reached towards them, then she grabbed my hands and said "oh don't touch them, they're behaving!" Then I smiled and winked at her (which is something that I've only recently learned how to do...sad I know) and she thought that was hilarious (cause I kind of have to over-exaggerate my facial expression to make it turn out as an actual wink...so it actually does look rather comical), so for the rest of the weekend I'd wink at her from across the nurses' station or as I was walking by and she'd just get to laughing...it was so cute! Not gonna lie, this little lady made my weekend bearable. My jaw hurts. like seriously. but I was still able to smile! Thanks to "Sally & Romeo's" mother. If I ever get Dementia or lose my mind in any fashion then I hope to be as sweet and funny as this little lady is....patients like her are why I love being a nurse!!

Game Night!

So in light of the fact that I am obviously heavily medicated due to the extraction of my wisdom teeth this week, I did not lead Bible Study as I normally do every week. Also, since I was unable to find a replacement leader we decided to just meet and play games and just have some quality bonding time....much fun ensued!

We played a game called "Quelf" which I had never heard of but it's actually a very fun, interesting, and just all around different game. I highly recommend it for group game nights. I ended up wearing a panda mask for most of the night, Morgan had to wink at people, Jonathan had to cheer for Ava every round, Matt had to sit with a book in his lap, Alicia had to have one hand on the floor, and Emily had to wear a "snorkel" ...there was also much singing, some leap frog, and lots of other stuff...

We also played scategories, and Jonathan is remarkably good at Scategories....I was impressed

Wise Apples

First of all, why are Wisdom Teeth called wisdom teeth? are people who have them more wise than others? does taking them out take away some of your wisdom? and if so many people have to have them removed then what were there purpose in the first place?!?

These are just some of the questions I've added to my Jesus list

Now why am I so interested in wisdom teeth? because today I got 3 of mine removed (I'd already had the 4th removed a few months ago) and despite popular demand, I only got local anesthetic...which looking back was probably a bad idea. I apparently have a high tolerance for like everything so it took close to an hour of my dentist giving me shots for me to get completely numb...but by the time she finally took out my teeth, boy was I numb! (also, my mother told me this afternoon that my grandfather always has to get laughing gas cause the localized stuff never works on him....great, now she tells me!) I was so numb that I was trying to put on chap-stick as we were leaving the dentist's office and I had to stop and ask Ren to help me because I didn't know where my mouth was.

And for some reason whenever my face is numb I just start talking...about anything and everything. My sister even asked what they gave me cause I was acting a little loopy, which I thought was completely ridiculous....granted I was slapping myself in the face at the time trying to show her just how numb my face was...so I don't know where she got that idea.

8 years ago my dad and I got into a terrible car wreck and he had to have his jaw wired shut and everyone would call to ask us how he was doing...but he'd take the phone from us cause even having his mouth wired shut didn't stop him from talking... well as they say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" I wasn't about to let the 3 gaping holes in my mouth to keep me from talking. My sister finally told me to shut up because we were going into the pharmacy and she said I looked like a chipmunk whenever I spoke....but that didn't stop me for long. As soon as we got to her house she kept asking me if I wanted to lay down or take a nap but I really just wanted to talk....so I started watching Swamp People and Ren said I sounded like Troy and that's finally the straw that sank the boat (that's not the right saying...I just took a pain pill and I think it's starting to kick in...what am I trying to say?) Nevertheless, as of right now I feel great! but I also still can't feel my face....and I have to be careful cause I've been drooling all over myself without even know it. At one point Ren just looked at me and said "you have blood all over your face" so for the rest of the day I've been walking around with a napkin in, on, or under my mouth to help catch any bloody drool that may try to escape... And why is it that whenever you're not supposed to eat, you get SOOO hungry?! I'm about to starve! Mashed potatoes watch out!

Jesus List

So tonight at bible study we were talking about Elijah and the prophets of Baal and somehow that led to Noah's ark (don't ask me how) and all of my college-age kids were trying to figure out what animals were on the ark, which (if any) animals missed the ark, and which animals were considered sea creatures and were left to fend for themselves in the oceans. Here are their thoughts/questions/hypotheses:

• Unicorns were too busy playing and missed the ark, that's why they no longer exist.
• because the unicorns no longer exist, people live shorter lives. (possible Harry Potter reference?)
• Dinosaurs were too big to fit on the ark, thus their extinction.
• were turtles on the ark? some think they were left out to sea
• what age were the animals on the ark? (some think they were babies and that's why all the animals fit, cause they were small)
• Who cleaned up the poop?
• why are there only kangaroos in Australia?
• did unicorns have wings? or were those Pegasus? and did Pegasus have a horn like a unicorn? if not what would you call Pegasus mixed with a unicorn? a Pegacorn or a uniasus? Liger sounds better than a Tigon...so it'd have to be a Pegacorn

My answer to all of these question: Don't worry about it anymore. Just make a list and whenever you get to heaven you can sit and ask Jesus about it....but then they kept asking questions so I said that they probably have an orientation group whenever you get to heaven. You walk in the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing there with a huge smile on his face saying "Welcome to Heaven, where you'll spend eternity with the Alpha and Omega! Here are your welcome packets and name tags, we'll be having several seminars throughout the week so we can go over some of those FAQs that I'm sure you all have. But don't worry you'll all get to see God the father and son soon enough and they'll be happy to answer any and all questions that you might still have. To begin our tour, I'll just have you follow me here down this street of gold..."

I don't know what happened to the dinosaurs, or if unicorns really existed but I do think there is some kind of system in Heaven that automatically answers all of these silly random questions for us...and if not, then I'm just gonna add that to my Jesus List.